Thursday, December 2, 2010

Women


This funny cartoon went around work the other day, and I thought it would be a perfect addition to my blog. (If you're having trouble viewing the icons, you can click the image to see it larger). A lot of people (boys) are wondering why not shopping would be so hard? Well, the above diagram showcases it perfectly. Say a guy asked me out for drinks...or the girls wanted to go catch Happy Hour. I would first evaluate whether or not I'd want to. Then, of course, I'd have to pick out an outfit. What I love about this diagram is it shows "bottoms" first. I ALWAYS do that! I mean, OK... am I going to wear a dress or pants? Do I want to wear tights? Do I want to be casual or cute? Are skinny jeans weird? Do I have shoes to go with boot cut jeans? Seriously, its a huge dilemma. If I was a boy, I'd have the luxury of wearing whatever I wanted... and I'd look the same. Boys suck. Really, not fair. Seriously they're all stupid and like "oh hey, let me just wear WHATEVER because I look hot anyways." And they do, they look hot. No matter what they're wearing. Well that is not completely true, my girlfriends know how I feel about boy style. That is a whole different issue. But seriously, if they just throw on clothes that fit, they look super cute and precious and to be honest that is RUDE.. Anyways, then I move to the problem of what to wear on top. This always is dependant on if you're going out with the girls or with a guy- there is girl cute, and guy cute. Way different. Guys don't really understand or appreciate things like sleeves or sequins, and girls don't really care how low cut your shirt is. Then shoes. Is it snowy? Is it hot? Did you paint your toenails? How tall are the people you're with? Do you want to feel taller or shorter? Will you be walking a lot? I'm not kidding. It is seriously a miracle I even get out of bed some days.

So, after I've been through this exhausting flow chart and finally am clothed, I realize my hair is a rats nest and by that time it is too late to do anything about it, and I think crap! What a waste of a good outfit... I still look like crap.

AND THEN, if I even make it out the door to the bar (don't worry, I rarely don't make it to bars)... it is time to decide what to drink. If you're like me, you may drink just about anything. But if you're on a diet, or you have to work early, or you don't want beer bloat... holy mac you might as well tell the waitress to come back in 30 minutes or so. Seriously, what a disaster.

To be honest, I'm EXHAUSTED just having typed this. Luckily, my social life is PITIFUL right now. Oh wait what did I just say? I meant to say that I am like... really popular. But I am just choosing to sit at home in sweats gazing at my Christmas tree. ;-) However, I did join a gym again... more to come on that later... so tonight I don't have to worry about Happy Hour outfits, or what to order... I just have to find some gym shorts and get on the treadmill (yuck). If anyone happens to be going out tonight, feel free to use the chart and go to town. I bet you'll look awesome! And boys: (do boys even read this??) Please, just once, be grateful for the fact that you get to wear whatever the heck you want, and you'll still look perfect. Rude.

5 comments:

Lyndsey said...

Wow! Perfectly put!

~*~ amanda ~*~ said...

You crack me up. Every TIME! I always have so much to "reply" and then forget by the end. Anyway, yes. I concur. And tonight I did not think it through. I ended up wearing very cute heeled slouchy boots to 1st Thursday. Also, I parked at the Library! because I'm cheap. Also there was 3 feet of slush at every single curb-down and curb-up. Ew.

Adventures in torresland said...

The chart does bring up a good debate. The question I ask is if it displays an outdated stereotype of both genders "fashion tendencies" rather than a legitimately display what how most men choose what to wear. I think men want women to believe that they don't dwell about their appearence, and there probably is a significant amount of the male population that aren't even aware of the essentially subconcious choices they are making when putting on their daily wardrobe. Being a man who does openly enjoy fashion and is more aware of the choices he makes in terms of clothes I can say that there are decisions being made they are just not dwelled upon. Issue one I think transcends gender in terms of clothes and that is pants/jeans. Nobody wants to wear uncomfortable pants.And I think it is a flattering albiet false statement that any fit of pant looks good on a male. Male beauty is based on symmetry, and the truth of the matter is that not all males have a naturally symmetric figure. I for one have a very cuddly "chubby" figure with a long torso which causes certain fit of jeans to not work at all (namely a straight or relaxed cut typically). In terms of tops their is also tons of decisions. Namely: dress shirt or casual top, if dress shirt with or with out tie, if with tie then which tie and which shirt WHICH IS A HUGE DECISION IN TERMS OF MALE FASHION. You then move onto Jackets, pinstriped or solid, amount of buttons and cut of jacket etc. Now once again, not every male is conciously aware they are making these decisions and that these decisions matter but they do. Sometimes I long for the world of "Mad Men" where the nuances of male fashion appeared more ingrained in our daily life. I think as a overall culture we have complicated matters in terms of our longing to be "casual yet cool". I love that you added this debate to your blog being a male reader (surprise!) and look foward to future discussions of not only your own struggle as you go through this year but the larger structures culturally that we don't admit fashion either a factor in or result of. TOOTLES!

Andy said...

This is a super late reply and I hope it's not weird that I read this, but this was a really entertaining post!

I've heard things like this before from various friends and girls I've dated. I'd wholeheartedly agree that most guys definitely have it easier than girls.

I'll admit not very fashion conscious - usually sport jeans, a crew neck pullover and white VANS (all-year round, but I don't recommend them on ice! They're about as safe as having sticks of butter on your feet). Certainly not to boast or imply I look like a million bucks wearing that at all.

Usually if I'm heading out I'll brush the teeth, wash the face, little hair wax and make sure I don't have boogers hangin' from my nose or something ha.

Really, this response was a long way of agreeing. You've definitely motivated me to try even harder to notice the little things that you ladies do. Rock on and keep it up.

Anonymous said...

Another guy checking in...hope that's not weird...but great post, I think you're spot on. I sometimes feel bad that guys have it so easy, but what can be done about it? This made me laugh though.